What I Learned from Working at a Funeral Home

The first thing I learned was Funeral Directors are people. I hadn’t met one before. They held the door for me or my coat, but they were not my concern when attending a funeral. My own sadness took the spotlight or my attention was on the deceased’s family. Now I know the being who ushers me to my seat isn’t a robot or servant, but a person with feelings, family and problems. These men and women are called into service much like a minister or doctor.

I know what they have seen and the stories they’ve heard. The Funeral Directors of previous generations ran themselves into the ground or marriages into divorce court or their blood streams into addiction because they always put the families they served first. Honestly, that is often the case today too. Today’s Funeral Directors are striving for a better balance.

Every family who walks through our doors needs help and has complicated feelings about death and whoever died. Each family member wants to believe they are the only family we serve. This is not possible. We aim for excellence, compassion and professionalism every time we answer the phone.

There are things every person can do to make their own death have less negative impact on those left behind. A few simple actions can relieve stress, minimize mistakes and delays in the administration that follows death. Preparation makes things easier on your loved ones, as well as the Funeral Directors who usher your friends and family through a complex process.

First and foremost, plan ahead! Every day the average person makes 3,000 to 35,000 decisions. Decision fatigue is real and happens in ordinary life. Imagine what happens when someone you love dies, making decisions becomes even harder and more of them.

If when we are healthy we write decisions down and entrust them to a person with integrity we take care of the people we leave behind. Every decision we make now takes their burden away later, when they may be headlong in shock and grief. Finding important paperwork may be challenging if someone lives in a different state or in a messy house. Put the information somewhere safe and tell people the location, i.e. PDQ Funeral Home or safe deposit box or under your mattress (less secure). If you don’t manage to do an official funeral planning meeting, at least write down:

• your social security number
• your parents names (including maiden name)
• parents place of birth
• marital status at time of death
• name of most recent spouse alive or predeceased (including maiden name and their social security)
• birthplace
• date of birth
• highest level of education
• Legal residence address
• occupation
• Veterans- a copy of your DD214

Take an hour out of your life today and you could save family and friends hours and possibly days of frustration. Your friendly neighborhood funeral director will appreciate your effort and maybe raise a glass to your memory!