When was the last funeral you attended or the last obituary you read? How were they? Were you moved by either event, or did you hope for something more? What if both experiences were fulfilling or you left knowing the person better, even deeper and cherishing memories long forgotten? What if death notices made us live better lives while we are here? Does this sound like too lofty of a goal for our final rite of passage? I don’t think so.
I have long been a reader of obituaries (obits), I inherited the habit from my great Auntie Elsie. She always read the paper each section, every day delivered to her doorstep. In the town from which my family hails there is a sweet tradition, when someone in town dies the bell is tolled for each year the person lived. Elsie lived to 91, the bell ringers arms were tired by the end. The old families in the town weren’t annoyed by the sound, just curious and pensive to learn one of their peers had died. How can we bring an old time sense of community and connection to our current day experience?
As a regular reader of obits, I often find them dry and boring, just the facts or fill in the blanks with an outdated formula that doesn’t always work with today’s families. Maybe the reason is because obits have become costly? Then shouldn’t we select our words more carefully with intention? To me it is worth the time and dollars to say to the world, ”this person lived and now they have died, everybody stop for a second, remember them and how precious life truly is?”
I do NOT want an obit to be fodder for scam artists which the old formula tends to be as it lists home locations (which will likely be vacant on the date and time of the service), maiden names as well as names of family often used to try to get passwords and account access.
Would you rather read about statistics or amazing life stories that inspire? What if we take back the obituary from the tedious formula and own it like the individuals we are? What if we take back death in general and it just begins with the obituary?
I invite you to think about your own obit today whatever your health state. How do you want to be remembered? What is a lesson you hope other people learn before they are too old to use the knowledge? What is your favorite memory? Do you have any regrets? Did you have any notable turning points in your life? What was your passion? Are there any secrets pleasures you enjoyed? How different would it be if you took the time to write your obituary to tell your life story as your final word?
For assistance call 401-846-0698 and ask for Kim or write me at kim@memorialfuneralhome.com.
